


That Special Touch - All Better?

by Elle_Gardner



Series: That Special Touch [6]
Category: Norman Reedus - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-24 13:13:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle_Gardner/pseuds/Elle_Gardner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The season is wrapping on Norman's TV show, and it is time for Holly and he to figure it all out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning** This is going to be an emotional roller coaster. You will be sad before you are happy especially if you have followed Norman and Holly from the beginning. BUT… do no skip this installment; do not give up in the middle. I promise, it will get better before this ride comes to a full and complete stop. It was emotional for me to write, and I assure you, it was all worth it. I love them both too much

Three Days Ago…..

I sat in the middle of my bed sobbing, like a damn fool I was crying my eyes out till I was hyperventilating. It was so fucking stupid. I was naked except for Normans only white shirt that he had given me all those months ago. The bed was a mess, I had tossed in it trying to get comfortable and happy and it didn’t work. My phone in my hand, I must have started typing and retyping a dozen times. Finally I wrote:

Fuck…. I hate this…. I can’t do it anymore! I give up!

I hit the send button and chucked the phone into the blankets. I wanted to scream and rage and punch something. That’s what pissed me off the most. I should not be this upset, it was fucking stupid. I whipped a pillow across the room knocking the jewelry rack off the dresser. I pulled his shirt tighter around me and buried my nose in it, inhaling as deep as I could. It didn’t smell like him anymore, it hadn’t in ages, but I tried to find his scent anyways. The tears started to roll down my face again, soaking his shirt. I wiped my eyes and mascara streaked across the field of white I had tried so hard to keep clean.

I could hear the damn phone ringing but I couldn’t find it. I fisted through the blankets finally hitting the ‘Answer’ button just before it went to voice mail. I tried to say hello but I couldn’t get the words past my tears. 

“Holly? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Norman’s voice was panicked, he sounded so far away and it was loud where ever he was. Shit, I had texted him at work. I wasn’t even thinking that he would be working in the middle of the day on a Saturday. I wasn’t thinking at all.

I tried to speak but my voice kept cracking and the hyperventilating was starting again. I heard him tell someone that he would ‘be back’ then it got progressively quieter as what sounded like doors were closing around him. “Calm down Holly. Talk to me. What’s going on?” His voice was unhinged and I felt bad for making him sound that way.

Holding in the tears and focusing, I finally got some words out. “I can’t do this Norman.” I inhaled, coughing and then speaking. “I can’t NOT be with you.” This break up had been my idea, my doing, my choice. He had fought me in his own way about it but it was me that ended things when his damn show wrapped last season and he went back to New York. It was my own fucking fault I was in this bed, in this condition.

There was a final slamming of a door, I could hear it rattle. Then I heard his zippo lighter, I could see him flipping it open and the flame igniting near his mouth. He inhaled. Fuck, I even missed the way he sucked in the smoke from his cigarette, filling his lungs and satisfying him in a way nothing else could sometime. His voice was finally calm and soft, “I know, this sucks.” He said it in a way that broke my heart for breaking his. “Just breath Holly, it’s gonna be okay.” I could envision him in the back ally of some city neighborhood, leaning against a brick wall spray painted with graffiti and trash piled by the curb. He’d play with the gray patch in his beard and run the back of his hand over his forehead. Maybe rub his eyes if he wasn’t wearing those damn sunglasses. “What’s got you so upset?”

I was done sobbing but his question made me laugh a little. The reason I was so upset right now was laughable.

“Tell me.” He had his patient voice. 

Mine was still shaking, “Never mind, I shouldn’t have bothered you. I’m sorry.”

I could see him rubbing that spot on the bridge of his nose with his ring finger, thumb on his temple while still holding his Parliament Lite. “Holly, why are you so upset?” He was pushing, but politely. 

My hands were shaking, “I’m not upset! I’m just… frustrated.” It was so stupid.

“’bout what?” His tone was relaxed now, not alarmed. My text had scared him and I suddenly realized that. 

“It’s stupid, I shouldn’t have texted, I’m sorry I made you worry. I’m gonna hang up.” I felt bad on top of everything else.

“I’ll just call back, annoyingly, over and over. So just tell me.” I heard the door squeak near him and heard him mumble something to someone, I couldn’t make it out. “Now Holly, talk to me.”

Finally I conceded to his question. I buried my face in my hand and whispered out my reply. “I can’t get off. I can’t fucking get off….. cause you’re not here.” It was the sad truth. I had been trying to have an orgasm for over an hour. I thought about everything dirty thing that usually worked for me, avoiding thoughts of Norman at first. Then it was only thoughts of Norman and that didn’t work. And it was two different vibrators. By the time I had started crying my hand ached from holding the toy so tight. That was the one I had chucked across the room and smashed against the wall. I was starting to cry again, but not so much that it was choking me this time.

Norman was talking to whoever had come outside before. “That your car? Can I sit in it?” A moment later I heard the creaking of the building door than a car door open. He must have gotten in. “Ssshh, baby, stop crying. You’re killing me.” He was sad, I could hear it.

“It was dumb of me to text you. I never should have done that.” I was genuinely sorry. My stupid problem was now interfering with his work. I shook my head ashamed of myself.

Norman laughed under his breath. “Yes, you should have. We’re friends.” I heard him inhale, he was smoking in some guy’s car. “I’m sorry you’re having….issues.” He sounded embarrassed, as much for me as for himself.

“They’re my issues.” I shook my head.

“Our issues.” Matter of factly. “You’re still mine Holly. Always be mine.” I could hear him settle into the seat getting comfortable.

Every time he said that, ‘mine’. Every time he told me I was his... It made me ache, like some Pavlovian response straight to my pussy. I ached. 

“Don’t say that Norman. You’re just making my….issue… worse.” 

We both sat quiet for a few minutes, listening to each other breath, syncing our breath together. It was something we had often done when we were together, never realizing it at first, but once I had, and we did it often. I was finally calm again. When I thought he might be ready to get off the phone and back to whatever he doing, he started to talk. “I miss you Holly. I miss being with you and holding you. Damn, I miss being inside of you.”

I tried to shut him down quickly. “Stop it Norman. I can’t listen to you do this.” Like I wasn’t already an aching mess.

He ignored me and just kept talking. “Touch yourself. I’m gonna help you get off.” I moaned when he spoke. “Do it, slide your fingers down and touch yourself.” I was going to say ‘no’, tell him I was too sore to do it because I had tried so long earlier, but I knew what he’s say. Some smart-ass comment like, ‘even better’ or ‘gonna hurt so good.’ I just stayed quiet instead.

Norman sighed. “We both need this. Fuck. I need this.” 

Damn! He broke me. Broke every ounce of will power I thought about having. I could barely deny him when we were together, I couldn’t deny him now. Fuck. I slid my hand down my stomach through my too long pubic hair that I had let grow because it didn’t matter anymore, to my dripping wet pussy. I moaned out when I made contact. 

And then he started, with all that sex he gets going in his voice when he’s trying to turn me on, all low and graveled like velvet dragged over pavement. “Three fingers Holly, I know you need it.” I did it and he was right, it needed it. I needed HIS fingers though, not mine, but it would have to do. “All the way, don’t stop till you’re buried in…..now in and out, fast… like I would do it to you.” I groaned. I did it, exactly as he said, just the way he would if he were here, in and out till my knuckles couldn’t go any further. “Other hand, your clit. Rub it fast.” I drew my fingers through the wetness that was pouring from me and to my clit that hurt so much I winced, but I didn’t care. So much pressure, like he would have done it, and fast like he instructed. I rubbed myself, listening to him tell me what a good girl I was, how much he wanted to hear me cum, how he missed hearing me moan and then….how dirty I was for needing him so much. His voice was mischievous.

That’s what did it. Norman Reedus telling me I was dirty for needing him to get me off. He was right. He was exactly what I needed to have an orgasm. A string of ‘fuck’, ‘Norman’ and ‘yes’ came pouring out of me as he told me in graphic detail how much I needed him. I came hard and wet and I dropped the phone that had been propped on my shoulder as I did, moaning his name like a whore. I hadn’t had an orgasm like that in three months since we had split up. My body shook and goose-bumps flashed over my skin. And then I started to cry. 

I found the phone and picked it up and started to softly cry into it. “No, baby, don’t start crying again. I can’t take it.” He sounded brokenhearted.

My tears slowed and my voice balanced, “I’m fine Norman. I’m not upset. I just really needed that.” The release was everything I needed. It seemed to fix everything that had been wrong, not just today but the past week as I had been avoiding masturbating. I simply needed Norman to be with me when I came. It was entirely and completely satisfying and I laughed as I heard him light a cigarette. “I cum and you need the cigarette?”

“I need a cigarette, a shot and to jerk off after that. But I gotta get back to a room full of people. Cigarettes’ gonna have t’ do for now.” He was laughing now too. I had missed that laugh so much. I was going to apologize for taking him away from work, for putting him through the drama of all of this, but I knew he didn’t care about any of that. “You better now baby?”

“All better.” I wasn’t lying. I was so much better now than I had been when I broke my vibrator. “Thank you.” 

I could hear him getting out of the car, closing the door and setting the alarm with the remote. “I gotta get back in. I’m gonna call you tonight. We’re gonna talk.” He was serious and concerned and controlling. He was perfect and I had pushed him away because I’m an asshole. 

We said goodbye and I had hardly pushed the ‘End’ button before I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter Two

Three Months Ago…..  
Tuesday night….

As if I hadn’t been addicted enough to Norman; after we had gotten home from LA, I had practically moved in with him. I slept there almost every night going home to my apartment with Mandy during the day to change clothes in a duffel bag he had loaned me. I was still seeing all of my regular clients during the day but at night we were hanging out with his cast-mates and show friends, neighbors he had gotten to know or simply alone. I had even brought him home to finally meet my family. My Southern-as-the-day-long parents instantly fell in love with ‘that New Yorker’ I was seeing.

Mom and I had gone to lunch one day and she asked me if it was getting serious. She reminded me that he was going to be going back to New York soon. She put in perspective what it would mean to try and have a long distance relationship with someone who kept the kind of schedule Norman kept. My voice of reason that women. I knew she was right, it was getting too serious between us. I had never lived further than seventeen miles from where I was sleeping every night. I never wanted to. I was not traveled or worldly. My job and family were here. But those were just easy excuses. The real reason I ended things that Tuesday night on his back deck was so much more complicated than that. 

We were holding hands, sharing a drink. My drink actually, he had finished his and we were both too lazy to go mix another. He was smoking and we were watching a wall of lighting bugs off on the tree line. “Gonna miss this.” He was a few days from wrapping the season and then it was packing and moving and settling back into New York. He liked it in Georgia, but he loved New York. The buzz of the city, the culture, the excitement, friends and family. His son was there. He would get to be a dad again and that was his favorite job of all. 

Norman had asked me the week before if I was willing to think about going with him. Just to think about. He had asked casually enough knowing that once I decided, I would talk to him. It had been a little strained between us since then but it was okay for the most part. I wrestled the ideas over and over in my head. Had he really been looking for a live in girlfriend? I didn’t know where it was all going. But I thought about it, I’d still pay rent to Mandy till she found someone else to rent with. I would pass names of customers on to classmates of mine to keep everyone happy. My folks would understand me following my heart. That was all easy. But it was the fact that we were so profoundly different that I couldn’t get past. I couldn’t live in a place that cost more than my parent’s house twenty-five times over. I couldn’t shack up with a guy and suddenly be introduced into his sons life, even if they didn’t live together full time. I didn’t understand the fame part of Norman’s job. The fans and conventions and the social media. Constant travel, what would I do with myself. Interviews and autographs and stalkers. I would never be able to get a job that paid for me to live in Norman’s world, and I would never feel right sapping off of him. And that felt like the tip of the iceberg.

I never believed that Norman was a different person here than he was there, but I knew I would never fit into that world he seemed so comfortable navigating. I couldn’t bring myself to go with him, to be that miserable during the hours we were apart just to be elated for the time we were together. I knew that the bipolar roller coaster ride everyday would cause me to go insane. Why couldn’t I just blindly follow him where ever he wanted? Because I was too smart or too stupid for my own good, and I couldn’t figure out which it was.

I held his hand and looked out into the darkness. “You know I can’t go with you to New York Norman. Even if I am yours.” I wanted to throw up when I said it. I had been trying to get the words out for half an hour at least. 

He was quiet and his fingers never flinched against mine. We watched the lighting bugs for a few more minutes and then he spoke. “I know Holly. Come on, let’s go to bed.” It was the strangest break up I had ever experienced. We went to bed that night and made love. No words, not even ‘mine’. We simply made love, holding onto each other till we both fell asleep and stayed wrapped that way till morning. He left for work kissing my hair. I packed my things and brought them back to my apartment. Mandy and I talked for a while and all I could conclude was that I had no idea what was going on. 

Come to dinner on set. Please

It was the most coherent text I had ever gotten from him. I went to the set and it was fun, so much laughing and joking. Hugging like there was no tomorrow. Cast and crew and friends all around, it was great. Norman had one more scene to shoot and I hung out and watched for the first time, actually on set. Like being let in on some top secret mission or something. We walked to the golf cart and sat on the back together holding hands, getting dropped at his trailer. Norman changed and we chatted then a wardrobe assistant picked up his costume as we were leaving for the night. We stood next to his motorcycle as he pulled on his backpack and gloves. “Come spend the night Holly?” I nodded my head. We were going to have to talk again. I don’t think he believed me that I wasn’t going to New York with him.

Sex was more playful this time, much less intense than last night had been. It might have been the rug burn he was getting from the living room floor. We cuddled on the sofa and he buried his mouth on my neck, I loved when he kissed me there, mostly licked really. It was so Norman to do things tongue first. I would miss that. “We have to talk Norman.” I hated to ruin it all, he stopped licking and listened. “I can’t go with you to New York in a few days. I’m sorry.” He wrapped his arms around me.

“I know Holly.” His tone was sad. I made him fucking sad. “I just wanna spend these next few days with you.” He kissed my shoulder. “We’ll figure it out as we go.” He never asked me why I decided not to go and he never asked me to reconsider either. He simply spent the next three days being completely Norman. Working and laughing, kissing and hugging when he was close enough. He cuddled like it was his job and it made me happy and sad all at the same time. He didn’t try and hide the fact that he was leaving. He made calls in front of me, packed up things even printed his boarding pass for his single first class seat. I think his normalness of it all, made it easier on both of us.

Saturday…

He had invited me to the wrap party and though I wanted to go, it was all too much for me. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I cried a little and he kissed my forehead telling me that it was no big deal that I wasn’t going. He asked me to be here when he got home that night. 

It was almost 4:00am when he crawled into bed with me, tongue first, licking and kissing. Maybe a little drunk, certainly a lot horny, he was already naked when he started to undress me. How could I resist, why would I want to. I pulled off my top as he worked off my panties. Kissing along my thighs as he undressed me. I pushed aside all the thoughts that started with, ‘I’m going to miss the way he…’ I simply opened myself up to anything Norman wanted. He was ravenous and playful as he went down on me, my fingers threaded his long dark hair. He made me cum and moan his name and smiled when he did it.

I begged to suck his cock. Literally begged, I wanted him in my mouth so badly and he was hardly one to say no to a blow job. He got comfortable in the arm chair in the corner of the room, the one I had directed him to sit in. He was beautiful and I crawled to him, on all fours wanting to see that look of desire in his eyes. He never failed me. I started slow and deep, mostly mouth with a little bit of my hand. His head rocked back and he sighed, one hand on my head pushing me deeper onto him. He tasted heavenly pushing right into my throat. Norman wasn’t going to last long if I kept this up and I wanted him to come in my mouth, I pulled out all the stops sucking his fast and deep trailing my fingernails between his balls and his ass. 

Norman warned me he was going to cum. He hadn’t warned me in months. I opened myself up for him to shoot off and he exploded in my mouth. I swallowed as fast as I could but let a bit drip out of my mouth. I didn’t often do that but then again, he didn’t often cum with that much force and volume. I slid my mouth off and licked up the drips from my hand and his thigh. Why did it feel like we were strengthening our relationship and not ending it? I rested my cheek on his leg and waited while he stroked my hair and slowly calmed down. We eventually crawled back into bed as the sun was coming up and we drifted off to sleep, he wrapped himself around me. 

Sunday Afternoon…

I woke alone in his bed, he had been up for a while as half a pot of coffee was empty already. It looked like most of his things were packed up and he was sitting at the island in the kitchen at the computer. He smiled when he saw me in his long sleeved white button up shirt, I had pulled it out of his suitcase, it smelled gloriously like Norman.

“You should keep that shirt.” He held a hand out to me and I walked to him, pulling me to him once I was close enough to reach. Kissing. “I don’t wear it all that much and it looks sexy on you.” I nodded my head. I really did want to keep this one, I had slept in it a few times over the months and it always made me feel wrapped in him.

I poured myself a cup of coffee. “When’s your flight?” He was leaving for New York today, packing the cat and the personals and flying home for the break between the seasons. He had done this before, but it have never involved me before, affected me or scared the crap out me. I had to go with him. Even though I said I wouldn’t, I couldn’t let him leave. No, I had to let him leave without me. AAGGGHHHH!!!! This was the bipolar mess I feared would happen in New York, but it was happening right here in Georgia. 

“Tonight.” He was watching me as I moved around the kitchen foraging for breakfast, there was almost no food left in the house. “Spend the rest of the day naked in bed with me Holly?” I was hoping he’d ask for something like that.

 

We had sex in the kitchen on the island in the middle of the room while we were picking at the excuse we were calling lunch. Then in the bedroom we made love, sweet and gentle and I cried a little. I had never had to end a relationship this way. In the past things ended because we mutually agreed things were not moving in the right direction or because he was a dick. I had never broken up with someone because he lived in a completely different world than I did. I had to laugh, this was almost expected of our unusual relationship. There was no doubt that we would have stayed together if the things that made Norman, well…. Norman, didn’t get in the way. Guess you can’t have your cake and eat it to. 

A car met him at the house to take him to the airport, he loaded his small black rolling suitcase full of beloved t-shirts and jeans. His backpack filled with his electronics and travel favorites. His treasured cat was fussing in his carrier. We stood on the back deck wrapped in each other, kissing and holding for almost twenty minutes. “You can change your mind Holly.” It was the first time he had tried to talk me into go with him since I had made my decision. He knew I was stubborn. I shook my head against his chest, I couldn’t get the words out.

The driver got back out of the car signaling that it was time to get moving as not to be late.  
Norman nodded to him. In my ear, barely audible he is whispered. “Mine.” And I exhaled “Yours” into his shoulder.


	3. Chapter Three

Two Months Ago….  
Norman’s name came up on my caller ID in the middle of the night, when I answered I could barely hear him over the noise of the club music. “Holly? It’s Sean.” I had been awoken from a dead sleep and it took me a moment to figure out what was going on. I finally realized that it was Sean from LA and not Norman who was call. But he was calling from Norman’s phone.

My heart stopped, something was wrong. “Oh god, is he okay?” It had to be terrible if Sean was calling me. 

“No he’s not okay.” Then I heard the phone rustle and more dance club noise, maybe it was a bar, I couldn’t tell. “You broke up with him and he’s a fucking mess.” He was walking and getting further from the noise. 

At least I knew Norman was alright, not dead in some ditch somewhere, that was the important part. But I was pissed. Pissed that Sean would call me at some god awful hour to make me feel worse than I already did. Pissed that Norman had gotten him to call me and make me feel worse than I already did. I snapped at him. “That’s why he had you call me? Like I need this crap?” I wanted to hang up but I knew I wouldn’t do it. I had been beating myself up over it for a month already, and I was finally getting to a point where I wasn’t checking my phone for phantom text messages because I thought it was vibrating in my purse.

“No. Norman doesn’t know I called. Stole his phone. It’s just killing me that he’s this bummed about it all.” Sean sounded sincere, but it didn’t make me feel any better. 

I was sitting up in bed now trying not to bang my head against the headboard. “I don’t need some guy I’ve known for eight minutes telling me I made a bad decision. Cause I already know that.” I had been getting on with my life, but this town was steeped in memorabilia of his TV show and everywhere I turned it was like he, or at least his character, was here.

Sean laughed a little. “Eight minutes plus sex.” 

“What?”

“We’ve known each other for eight minutes plus we had sex. Plus that cat is my best friend and I think you are as miserable as he is.” Sean had to remind me of that threesome we had the weekend Norman brought me to LA to meet him. Yup, another happy experience turned painful memory. I shook my head. I was going to reply but I didn’t know how to explain that I was surly more miserable than Norman was. Then I could hear that voice in the background. Graveled and sexy and it made my stomach flip.

“You have my phone asshole.” Norman was close now. Laughing and joking.

Sean sounded distant, “Give me a minute.” I didn’t know which one of us he was talking to.

Norman must have been wrestling for it. “Gimme, who’d ya call, that chick from the bike shop still doesn’t like you.” Yes, they were wrestling. And I knew that Norman had random women’s phone numbers in his cell, it had never bothered me. I know he didn’t use them. And it had never been my place to ask if he really did call them. Maybe simply kept them filed so he knew who was calling him. I had exes I did that with, so I knew not to answer.

He must have gotten it away from Sean because now he was talking into it. “Hey, who’s Sean bugging now?” Middle aged men still joking around, it was cute.

I didn’t want to reply, but I did. “It’s Holly.” He was silent. They both were. I was pretty certain Norman was glaring at Sean. Apparently he hadn’t put his best friend up to calling me.

“Fucker.” He was clearly not happy. “Go talk to that stripper. Think she’s looking for her alimony.” He was directing his annoyance to Sean. He took a breath and spoke. “Sorry, hi. It’s like two in the morning for you isn’t it?”

It was nice to just hear his voice, to be talking to him. I don’t know how it happened, but instantly we were comfortable and we just started to chat. I told him that it was fine that Sean had called and then we talked, about nothing and everything. Things here in town and Mandy, my family and work. He told me about the promotional things he was working on and a convention he had gone to. He was so happy to be able to spend time with his son again. It was nice. Like old friends just catching up. 

“Are you seeing anyone?” He asked so casually

I smiled that he wanted to know. “No.” I didn’t ask him if he was, I didn’t want to know. Some part of me wanted him to be pining away, even though he didn’t deserve to be. 

 

About a month ago….

Somehow that phone call from LA had made things better for me. It let me know that we were still friends, that we were still able to communicate. I had spent a little time getting back on Twitter, seeing the things he was promoting and posting. We were communicating much more now, texting every few days, the occasional phone call. He had even sent flowers for my birthday, it was sweet and I kept them alive for as long as I could. I really think that I believed down deep somewhere that if we just survived through this hiatus, when he returned next season, we could pick up where we left off. I knew it was unrealistic, and I never said it out loud, but I know it’s why I didn’t try to date, didn’t try to really move on with my life. Even though I kept telling my mother that I was over him, I knew I was lying to myself.

I called him on a Thursday after he had posted a picture on Twitter of an amazing painting someone had given him. I wanted to make sure he was keeping that one, the talent was out of this world. We had been chatting for a while about some TV and radio interviews he had done, and how he had almost spilled the beans on some script secrets. Then I heard a voice that was distinctly female in the background. “Norman, I have to go.” It was eleven in the morning, I assumed he was home alone. I had been wrong. 

“Hang on.” He said it to me. Apparently he had gotten comfortable enough with our situation that I was just one of the guys now. I took the phone from my ear, I didn’t want to hear them talking. He was back in an instant, his goodbye to this woman had not been long at all. I was crushed. I hadn’t found a boyfriend, taken a lover or moved on. But it was clear that he had. “I’m back.”

I tried to play it cool, tried to sound like it didn’t matter to me. “Company gone?” It’s all I could get out of my mouth past my desire to throw up. 

He was quiet, I could hear him light a cigarette, “No matter what I say, I’m an asshole.” His tone got all flat. I hated that. I felt like I was punishing him and he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Norm, it’s fine. You are free to do what you want.” True. “I just didn’t realize you had company.” He should have told me he was too busy to talk, that would have been better to me. 

He exhaled, pushing the smoke from his lungs. “Honestly, I forgot she was here.” We both started laughing.

“You really are an asshole.” It just came out of my mouth in jest. “Do you even know her know her name?” I don’t know why I was torturing myself.

“Know her first name.” Damn his honestly. He was not a player, far from it. I didn’t actually believe that he had gone over two months without sex. Apparently he hadn’t. “I know her, we worked together on a thing once.” He was vague, I guessed a photo shoot. Since we had once had a discussion about him having or not having sex with a make-up artist, I was sure he just didn’t want to bring it up. Oh, god, what if it was that bitchy make-up artist? I dropped it, made my brain stop.

“Holly, she isn’t important. She’s not mine.” That low shy tone, awkward and adorable. I couldn’t go there again, not today. I shut down the conversation and I brought it around to things about my family. He let me draw the conversation away. We talked for another hour, till he had to get ready to leave for work. 

As we hung up he apologized for the incident with the woman. I simply assured him that everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are still hanging in there. I warned you it was an emotional roller coaster. Don't give up on them (or me) yet!!


	4. Chapter Four

Today…

The evening of my nervous breakdown Norman had called just as he had said he would. The call was brief. He informed me that he was coming to Georgia on Friday and spending the weekend. He asked me if I would book a room for him. He requested I be there waiting for him when he got into town. So here I stood in the middle of a room in the only motel in town, waiting for his cab to pull up. I had texted him the room number, 218. 

I didn’t love the idea of waiting here for him, but when the cab pulled up, it didn’t matter anymore. He walked into the room with his backpack over his shoulder. Sunglasses tucked in the front of his shirt, his baseball cap in hand. I could see his face, the way I loved him best. He closed the door behind him. We both mumbled hellos and he dropped his backpack on the floor with his hat as he walked to me. It was Norman, it was more of a stalk to me. Only a few steps and he was in arms reach of me, he pulled me in to him and we hugged. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his long-sleeved black shirt that hugged his body. We stayed like that for a long time. It was the best feeling ever.

Finally he kissed the top of my head and we let go. He spoke first, “You look beautiful.” He sat on the edge of the bed and started to untie his boots. Really? He was getting undressed? My brain was spinning. I wanted this so badly but we needed to talk. We needed to figure things out. I couldn’t just jump back into bed with him. He toed off his boots and went around to the side of the bed tossing pillows where he wanted them, I just watched. Finally he sat, half sitting, half laying and he help open his arms. “Just cuddle with me.” How did Norman always know just what I needed? I sighed.

We cuddled for hours, literally hours. Talking about nothing and everything or simply quiet for long periods of time, breathing together in that way that we did. We talked about how difficult things had been for me, how I wished I had gone with him to New York. When he asked me why I didn’t go, I told him everything. My fears and concerns. The reality of our differences, he understood. Maybe we should have talked about this months ago.

“I have a plan. We are going to go to dinner tonight, spend some time together. And we are going to figure this all out. Whatever unconventional way it takes to fix this. We are going to figure it out this weekend.” He kissed my forehead. “If that means we need to end thing for good, than we will figure that out too.” He looked at me, trying to read my face for a response. He raised a questioning eyebrow.

I held his hand tighter. “Can we order in?” I had no desire to face the town. I had no desire to leave this room all weekend. 

We ordered Chinese and sat on the bed eating moo-shoo and egg rolls, then cleaned off the bed before we dove into the fortune cookies. He read his first, “You have unusual equipment for success, use it properly….in bed.” We both looked down to his crotch and started laughing, though my brain actually went to the way he used his tongue more than anything else. He stole my fortune cookie to read the message because I never added the comical “in bed” to the end of my messages the way he did. “Instead of worrying and agonizing, move ahead constructively.” He paused before he added it, but he did add it. “In. Bed.”

That’s all it took. Affirmation from a slip of half inch by two inch piece of paper. We were kissing and undressing and exploring like two teenagers in the back of a Chevy. His mouth felt as good as I remembered it, licking and kissing at my face and my neck, I moaned when he wrapped his arms around me to find the hook on my bra. I knew moving this quickly was probably a bad idea, but I didn’t care. I unpeeled the black shirt off of him and kissed at his flesh till I got to his nipple and I started to suck on it. His fingers wrapped instantly in my hair and he mumbled how much he missed me, how much he needed me. I pushed him down on the bed and he let me explore at my own pace. I lingered too long on his hip, sucking till I left a bruise, I knew I shouldn’t have done it but he didn’t stop me and I wanted to mark him, in some little way, that he was mine. I unbuttoned his jeans and kissed his stomach as I worked them down his hips. He helped a little but mostly let me take the lead. His cock bounced out of his boxers and my body ached at how much I had missed him.

I wrapped my hand around the shaft and stroked him as I rubbed the tip along my cheek making a wet spot on me that I loved, his cum on my skin, he was hot and dripping and I was happier than I had been in months. I licked at him and sucked him deep. My heart swelled as I listened to him moan. His cock felt perfect in my mouth and he knew it too, he bucked into me driving deeper. “Yes Norman, use me.” He had that feral look in his eyes and I knew what he needed.

He shook his head ‘no’ and smiled at me. “Not this time.” He pulled me up his body to his mouth and kissed me. “Tonight you use me.” He licked at the wet spot on my cheek. I made me even more wet, always does when he crosses those seemingly taboo line. “Use me completely. We need this.” This was twice now that he had put out there the things WE needed. He had been so right the first time I followed obediently this time as well. 

I got of the bed and finished undressing me and him. Norman simply laid there waiting for me to direct him. I kissed him and bit at his ear a bit then whispered. “From behind. Hard.” I hadn’t gotten off again since our phone call three days ago. I was worked up and aching and knew I wanted him to fuck me hard this time, like never before. Then we could go back to sweet. He got up off the bed and took by the hand guiding me to the dresser with the mirror. He put his hand on my back and pushed me to lean on to the top of the dresser, I watched in the mirror as he stood behind me and rubbed his cock against my skin. He slid two fingers inside of me, making sure I was ready for him, I was overly ready. He kissed my shoulder.

Then I stood up, stopping him. The thought came out of nowhere. He had had sex with some random women since we had been together last, maybe more than one. I turned and faced him. “That women.” His face registered immediately, he knew what I was talking about. He rubbed his hand down his face and then he rubbed his eyes. He kissed me. “I’m sorry.” He was, I knew that he was and I wasn’t upset about the situation. Maybe that meant I didn’t really love him, or maybe it meant I just understood. “I was safe. Wouldn’t do that to you.” Kissing again tongue first. “To us.” His eyes were honest and I trusted everything he said. I nodded my head. He grabbed my hips and pulled me to his pelvis. “Mine.” 

I gushed at his words, liquid streaming down my leg and I turned back to the mirror. He bent me back over and slowly worked himself to my entrance. That fucking mischief smile, he was going to torture me slowly, I knew it. “You want it hard Holly?” He bit at my shoulder as he growled in my ear. “Then tell me you want it.” It wasn’t what I did, asking for what I wanted in bed, or on the dresser. I closed my eyes trying to gather myself. He teased me with the head of his cock, pulling away when I pushed back to find him. He looked at me in the mirror, “Tell me.” 

Shit. I was powerless to resist him. I searched his face for that animal need of his, but it wasn’t there, it was him giving. “Fill me up. Hard. I’m yours.” He obliged instantly. He pushed in as deep as he could filling me completely, then he began to fuck me, loving how rough he got to be, but for me this time and not for him. He found my breast and pulled hard at my nipple, it felt amazing, the pain soared through my body and a moaned for more. His other hand found my throat and he wrapped his hand around my neck watching in the mirror for my reaction. I don’t know what he saw but he approved. 

“You like that Holly?” I nodded and he applied a little more pressure as he continued to fuck me. I had never felt more like I belonged to him than I did at that moment. Filled and held, controlled by him, wanting to do nothing more than please me. It was intoxicating and erotic and my orgasm came out of nowhere. He felt me spasm around him and he fucked harder and faster. Waves of pleasure rocked through me and a held on the dresser for support. He crushed down on me and talked low in my ear. “Good girl. You needed that.” I nodded and he began to let get go of my throat. I shook my head, begging him not to release me. He held tight. “Not done Holly? I’m going to make you cum again.” I nodded in desperation. I could barely think anymore. It had never been like this with us and it was perfect. He thrust into me again, over and over. My aftershocks spiraled into more orgasms and he fought to hold himself back from coming, but it was a losing battle. “Gonna cum inside you baby.” He was panting and he reluctantly let go of my throat and wrapped his arm around my chest pull me close to him, hugging him. “You want me to do that?” 

Actual words came out of my mouth for the first time in a while. “God, yes Norman, Cum inside me, I need it.” My words were his undoing and he pushed hard and held while he came, flooding me with his sperm, it felt amazing, hot and wet and I came again. He held me tight, more for him then me I think. We came together and it was beautiful, watching each other in the mirror till he was done and he rested his exhausted cheek on my back. “Mine.”

He slowly pulled out of me and we slid to the floor wrapped in each other. Slowing syncing our breathing and resting together. I could feel him leaking out of me, down my butt crack and on to the floor. I knew that I would clean that up. He brushed the hair out of my eyes and kissed me cheek. “Your eyes were so dark.” I had felt out of control even being within his control. I nodded my head.

“That’s how you get Norman.” 

“Crazy, intense shit.” We nodded together.


	5. Chapter Five

(Moving ahead three days)  
Monday Morning….

Norman flew out to New York on a late flight last night, and even though I had only booked the room till Sunday, I took it for an extra night. I wanted to sleep in this shared bed one more night. I slept in the blue Henley shirt he had traded his white shirt for. Promising to make it smell like him again. Surrounded by the smell of him I couldn’t help but smile as the Georgia sun rose and brightened the room.

So what did we figure out as we sequestered ourselves into room 218 for the weekend? Well, there is something special between us, something strange and unusual and something neither one of us is willing to give up. But, we are vastly different people living in different worlds and we simply can’t be together all the time. And though this makes me morose it does allow me to change who I am, the person Norman considers his.

Now I am sure that people will not understand or even agree with the decision we have both made, but we are comfortable with it. We are trying an open relationship, one that allows us both to see other people as we see fit. One that prevents me from ruining perfectly good vibrators and scaring him at work. But one that allows us both to pick up the phone and make plans to spent time alone together. And alone is the best place for us to be. I have had to compromise and agree to let him buy me plane tickets when needed and I have asked him to be my massage client when he returns back to the set of his show.

So as I close the door on this room and this chapter of our relationship, I am finally happy again. And I know that our relationship is not over, is it simply evolving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you know that they couldn't live happily ever after like some fairy tale. But they can live realistically in a 21st Century relationship
> 
> I would like to thank everyone that took this emotional ride with me over these past months. I never expected Holly to have such a story to tell, but she did, and it was a good one. I would venture to guess that much like The Mile High Club, there will be other moments that need to be shared. Holly will let me know, I assure you.
> 
> Thank you again for reading and journeying with me. I'd love to hear your thoughts.


End file.
